Labelled without love?

>> People in the wine trade often despair about how little the general public understands their product, and worry about the consumer's lack of confidence in discussing wine. Yet they often fail to recognise that they are partly to blame for this sorry state of affairs.

Far too many  bottles of wine are labelled with meaningless, irrelevant or confusing information. To point out that a wine is "typical of the region" or is made with "the best quality grapes" is, frankly, a waste of ink. If the wine is made with poor quality fruit, or has no flavour at all, that would be noteworthy. But let's assume that your wine does actually have something going for it. How do you engage the consumer who has shown enough interest to pick up the bottle and read what's on the back?

Here are some of my wine labelling tips – not as a winemaker, but as a wordsmith.

>> Don't treat your consumer as an imbecile. Humour has its place (I love the Mad Housewife labels) but it should be used sparingly. Consumers and buyers are getting a bit bored of wines with wacky names. Equally, don't try to bamboozle novice wine buffs into thinking they're buying a work of art by offering pseudo-technical information. Use simple, unambiguous, everyday language to convey some sensible and useful messages about your wine. Avoid obvious phrases like "drink with friends" or gratuitously complicated detail about grape clones and fermentation techniques.

Rules are there to be broken. I love this label, even though it tells you almost nothing about the wine in the bottle. But on the other hand ... how much can you really say about white zin?

>> Don't be too wordy. In a retail environment, you might have as little as six seconds to grab the consumer's interest. So get to the point fast! Even when the bottle is at home, and hopefully open, it's unlikely that many people will spend much time poring over your clever prose. So keep the text down to three or four paragraphs at most, and if you really feel there is more to say about your wine, a link to a website will satisfy the hardcore wine nerds.

>> Don't sell yourself short either! By all means be concise, but if the label contains too much white space you risk giving the impression there's not much worth saying about your wine.

>> What's your flavour? You don't need to write a long list of obscure fruits to describe your wine. Personally I'm not familiar with the flavour of quince; if a Chablis has a gunflint aroma, that's not really very helpful either as I don't own a musket. Consumers are getting better at understanding the differences between grape varieties, so make sure you acknowledge which ones are in the wine and the contribution they make. Flavour is notoriously subjective, and hard to describe, so it may be better to use just  one or two simple adjectives (for example meaty, floral, silky, citrus, robust, spicy) that help create a broad idea of the style of wine. 

>> Offer some food for thought. Don't spend ages dreaming up improbable food pairing ideas. Instead, give some advice about whether this is or isn't a food wine. By all means make a case for enjoying the wine with shellfish, or curries, or salty dishes, or something equally distinctive – perhaps namecheck some dishes from its native region. But don't waste everyone's time by claiming the wine is ideal for "pasta" or "chicken" or "vegetarian dishes". Just think for a moment about those statements, which you'll find on thousands of back labels. They're utterly meaningless.

>> Paint a picture. Most people have a pretty romantic impression of where wine comes from and how it's made. Don't disappoint them if you can possibly help it. The back label should capture just a little of the region it represents: this may be its heritage, or its modern approach; its sun-baked hillsides, or its cool breezes; its centuries-old appellation laws, or its maverick experimentation. Namecheck the winemaker if there is something worth saying – perhaps even his three-legged dog too. But remember, this information is only worth including if it makes the consumer more likely to buy your wine. Make sure it fits in with the story you're trying to tell.

By all means mention the winemaker's dog if it helps paint a picture. Let's be honest, though. Who's really interested?

>> Think about who's buying your wine. If the price tag is less than £5, you're firmly in the mass market and you have a better than average chance of being browsed by women. Typically, female shoppers are busy people with good bullshit detectors, though perhaps not a detailed understanding of wine. Above £7 and you're starting to pull in the alpha males, who want to know a bit more about the wine and how it's made. This is not an excuse to go overboard with winemaking and viticultural jargon. Keep the information interesting and relevant, but by all means explain something that the guy buying the wine might not know. If these sound like sexist generalisations, that's probably a fair charge. But remember, we're playing a percentage game here.

>> Take a pride in your work. The back label may well be the final job in a long list of complicated tasks involved in getting your wine to market, but that doesn't mean you should rush it. Re-read your text and ask friends, colleagues and clients for comments and criticism. Cut out unnecessary words, double check grammar, and make sure you haven't misspelled anything. We've all seen wines that claim to be "good on the pallet". Make sure yours isn't one of them!

This list is intended as general advice. Please contact me for a full consultation: I offer a complete service from advising on branding and presentation down to the fine detail of copywriting.